Saw both families yesterday, was fun. I can't wait for the two sides to meet. At first, it was going to be like a boxing poster, with the two sides looking like they want to kill each other, but not anymore, it now looks like it's going to be nice and quiet, which is a lot better.
Back with another chapter in the diary of a madman(groom). Let me ask you guys something - should the person who pays the bill at a restaurant decide what the tip should be? I think so.
Dee, my best man (Chris), and I went out to eat on Friday at Applebee's. Granted, their service is ok at best normally, Friday is was bad. People who were seated after us were eating before us, it took almost a half hour for the appetizers, things like that. Adding to the frustration were the teenage gangsta-wannabe's who have nothing better to do at age 15 than hang out in front of a restaurant, smoke, and cause people grief. When dinner finally came out, I asked the server if I could please have another soda. He said ok, and disappeared. Two minutes later, nothing. Ten minutes later, nothing. Twenty minutes later, when the guy comes to take my plate, I ask him for more soda. He even asks what kind. At this point, I was thinking I might get more soda. What did I know. He disappears and never comes back. If the waitress had been doing her job and coming around to check if things were ok, I might have been able to get a drink, but no. She finally came around when we stopped her for the check, at which point all we wanted to do was get the hell out of there.
We get the check, and since I was taking Dee out, Chris put his amount in, and I would pay the rest. Everything was ok until it got to the tip. I wanted to give less because the service was horrible. Normally this would not be a problem. Since Dee normally figures out the bills (she's a little better with money), she figured an eight or nine dollar tip was appropriate. I disagreed because of the service. Before I could act, she closes the little book that they give you so you can pay, and gives it to the waitress. Dee then looks at me and says, "It's not like you are going to take it back now, right?" I was livid. Its bad enought that the service was awful, but now Dee is deciding how much I should pay. If part of it were her money, it would be one thing, but I was paying, so I think that I should decide, right? Please email me, and let me know if I was right or not.
If and when you do get engaged, the next day/night, your new fiance will ask you, "When do you want to get married?" My response - later!. You as a man just went through all the trouble of planning the proposal, and figure you have a few days to sit back and catch your breath. Not in her book! The day you propose sets off a ticking clock that counts down to their wedding.
By the time you know what's going on, she's got a semblance of the date and time, as well as the guests. Within one month(one week if she has an older sister), you will have a general idea of the guest list, location, and other items. Again, not always a bad thing, but I do believe Einstein never thought about what happens when wedding planning when working on theories of time & space. If you want to email your thoughts, send them to Hammrsigpi@hotmail.com.
Ok, part two, this is more for the guys than anything else. Today, she started a webpage for the wedding. In this day and age, I guess it makes sense, but, she started posting things about us without asking me for input. Ladies, I'm not controlling, just asking for courtesy and equality in the relationship. I don't give a damn about the color of the tablecloth, but if the world is going to see part of my life, I might appreciate a heads up.
For those of you who are engaged or just got engaged, congrats. Guys in this group, how many of you have fiance's who said they want you to take dance lessons? That's what I thought. Don't do it! Let me ask you something, how many of you plan on ballroom dancing after your wedding? For those two guys who raised their hands, ignore this section. For the rest, picture this: you have a family, and you come home from work, you find out that your wife hasn't made dinner because she was with the kids. Is dancing going to feed you? Hell no. You could have spent 20-30 minutes whipping something up for the family, and showing your wife how much you love her and the kids, but no, you took dance lessons! All so that you supposedly wouldn't look like an ass in front of family and friends. Believe me, after 2 hours of a free bar, noone is going to care as long as you don't fall. If you can already cook, or if you can afford (both time and money) to take lessons out the yin-yang, go to town, have fun.
Some of you might be saying, I'm just going to show up at the wedding, be relatively sober, and I don't care about what goes into it. Don't make that mistake. I'm not saying you should care about the doily color, but take an interest in your wedding. Otherwise, you could be asking for trouble. It may not appear to be manly to get involved in the plannign of your wedding, but it's a hell of a lot better than living with pink place settings because she did all of the gift registry. The only things I plan on getting involved in are:
1) Food at the wedding.
2) Music at the wedding.
3) Guest list.
Yes men - I said the registry. Why you ask? Not just for the pink place settings (nice to see someone read what I typed before), but because it can be fun. I like to cook occasionally, and it would be nice to pick out some of the tools I will be using. I don't get involved in all of it, just in the areas that I care about, and guys, do the same. Getting involved in everything will only lead to fights between you, her, and her mother, and it's over nothing. Spare yourself the headaches and hair loss, and pick your battles.
Well, here it is, 365 days until my wedding. I've never done this before, nor have I ever kept a diary, so forgive me if it starts off a bit dry.
Guys, let me tell you, the year before a wedding will make you pull your hair out. But, it's worth it. You get to spend the rest of your life with the woman you (hopefully) love. For those of you who haven't been through this before, being engaged is great. It's at that year point that you realize that your life is changing very, very quickly. As a matter of fact, you may feel like you just got on the world's tallest roller coaster, and each minute of each hour of each day is that "click click click" sound of the chain pulling you up the coaster. You know that the day of your wedding is just going to be that first exhilarating drop that really starts the ride.
Just to give you a bit of background, for those of you who don't know us, Dee and I live together in Brooklyn. We got engaged on Valentine's Day, which had her off guard, because I try never to do anything on a holiday itself. Her grandmother (on her mother's side) had passed away that past November, and Dee's mother offered me her engagement ring. I agreed, for the sentimental value to Dee, and set my plans in motion.
I took her to Da Tomasso, which for those of you who have never been there, serves some of the best northern Italian food, and the price is good. Afterwards, we saw Cabaret, when Neil Patrick Harris was still in it. Absolutely phenomenal (picture Doogie Howser with a German accent), although I wouldn't recommend it for the day you get engaged.
Afterwards, we grabbed a train to Q lounge on 19th street. I knew a manager there who promised to take good care of us there. Dee had no idea of what to expect, partly because I wouldn't tell her the plans in advance, and also because neither of us are into the "trendy" clubs. When I spoke to the bouncer, he heard my name, and jumped. I mean, he started barking orders to the people that worked there - "VIP section, take their coats, etc..." Dee is asking who I sold my soul to in order to get this treatment. We go down into the club, in a pseudo-VIP area, where noone is sitting near us, and receive complimentary champagne and strawberries. We enjoy the music and the champagne, and I go to talk to the manager. He says that he can't slow the music down for us, but he can put some classic rock on. I said, " That's ok, I just cant see proposing to Biggie and Nas - my bitches my niggas, my hoes". I went to sit back down, and when they changed the music, I looked her in the eye, and asked if she knew why we were in the club. She shook her head no, and that's when I slid off the couch, dropped to one knee, and took my hand (holding the ring) from behind my back. (Ladies - I can be hired to show your men how to be this smooth.) I asked her to marry me, and as she said yes, the entire place burst into applause.
So, that's the story, in a nutshell. Part two will tell more.